I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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