he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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