The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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