After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize