you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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