i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
