Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
