Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
