I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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