If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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