i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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