well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
