I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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