ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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