Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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