I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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