You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize