smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
