we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize