I want to walk on stilts...naked
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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