i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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