New low: just hacked my moms facebook
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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