you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
