bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
