I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
