I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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