I think i peed on brittanys purse
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
