found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fuck appropriateness.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
