do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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