Quick, to the slutcave!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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