Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
