Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
