I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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