Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
