oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
