you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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