so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
