Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just found puke in my bra..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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