Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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