he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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