So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
