Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
