I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Two words: blizzard sex
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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