I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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