loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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