Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
