Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
