so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
