Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
