You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
