I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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