If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
