I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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