i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
