Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's like heaven, but drunker
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I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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