It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
